LUCHA UNDERGROUND

LUCHA, LUCHA, LUCHA

LUCHA, NO! LUCHA, NO! LUCHA, NO!

What the Hell is Lucha Underground? This is a serious question because I am not actually sure. Is it a wrestling TV show or is it some weird grindhouse wannabe wrestling TV show?

Is it even a promotion? By that I mean will it do house shows and non-televised events?

I don’t think those behind Lucha Underground, Mark Burnett, Robert Rodriguez, the El Rey Network, are quite sure. It doesn’t seem like anyone involved has an idea what professional wrestling is. Wait, I mean Lucha Libre.

The way it is presented comes across like a poorly made, badly written and ugly acted grindhouse movie, with no redeeming qualities. Trying to make wrestling into grindhouse is stupid. Wrestling was underground, edgy and grindhouse, before grindhouse even existed. Furthermore, WCCW and ECW beat Lucha Underground to this type of presentation 20 to 30 years ago.

The first match they broadcast two weeks ago gave me great hopes, Blue Demon, Jr versus Chavo Guerrro, Jr. Then I saw the match. Or whatever it was they did. This match looked ill timed, fake and over-mapped out. Neither Demon nor Chavo looked comfortable and it seemed like Chavo taped out before Demon even finished putting on his submission hold.

Except for Prince Puma (aka Ricochet) and Johnny Mundo (aka John Morrison) there is nothing to rant about. Their main event match on the debut broadcast was good, the only good thing about Lucha Underground so far.

Chris Rose commented to me the other day that the show is ‘scripted,’ not ‘booked.’ It shows. Badly acted crap segments, including an opening credits segment that is dubbed into English!

The problem with the writing is that these first two broadcasts were played like they were further into the ‘season,’ with story points that made no sense. Such as the owner of Lucha Underground berating Chavo for not destroying Blue Demon, Jr. There is no set up for the owner’s vendetta against Blue Demon. Another point is the commentators talking about how and why the fans hate the owner, yet the first episode is the first time anyone saw him.

The commentators for Lucha Underground are Matt Striker and Vampiro. They are not very good. Striker oversells and acts like no one has ever seen Lucha Libre style wrestling before. Vampiro’s commenting seems to consist of scattered ‘Brother’ and ‘That’s dope,’ comments. They do not help to elevate an already shoddy product.

All that aside, there was something even worse that happened on the second episode, something sickening.

Blue Demon, Jr was defeated by Mil Muetras. Chavo, with a chair, came out to save Demon. He then turned on Demon, beating him down with the chair, and did the same to anyone who came out to help Demon.

SexyStar, the female Luchador, came out to talk to Chavo, to get him to stop. Chavo stopped for a second. Then hit SexyStar in the head with the chair.

Let me repeat, Chavo Geurrero hit the female Luchador SexyStar in the head with a chair. This was not an accident. It was deliberate. I don’t care if SexyStar’s gimmick is that she wrestles men, this was over the line.

To make matters worse, Chavo did his typical posing and gloating after this. When the medics came out, they carted Blue Demon, Jr off to the hospital, but left SexyStar lying on the mat.

Who the Hell thought this was a good idea? Accidental, maybe. A chair shot to a woman on purpose, Fuck No!

Look at the news. How bad is the domestic abuse issue involving pro athletes right now? How about the biggest NFL story heading into the season? Ray Rice anyone? What about War Machine almost killing Christy Mack?

With all this going on, someone thought this was a good idea? No. Don’t sell me that it is just pro wrestling, or that it is stage and ‘fake.’ Bullshit. People complained and thought it was tasteless when HHH lay with Katie Vick in the coffin.

This crossed a line. I doubt if I will bother watching again. After all, there is real Lucha Libre out there just check Youtube.

RATING: EPIC FAIL