Thursday, December 29, 2016

GLITTER and SLAM Edition 5

In this edition of Glitter and Slam we'll see why Chelsea Green, aka Impact Wrestling's ‘Laurel Van Ness’, is the kind of adrenaline shot Raw needs to get its women's division back on track. We also look at this column's match of the year with The Boss and The Queen – along with how this converges with Bayley's journey going into 2017.

It is no secret that beyond Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair, Raw has not done a very good job building up the rest of its division compared to Smackdown Live. The secondary women's feuds have been uninspiring and injuries limit booking possibilities for an already thin women's roster.

Paige would have provided the best option a good rivalry outside the title chase. She is recovering from neck surgery and will be out until probably spring. Summer Rae is also sidelined with neck, back and elbow problems. Tamina is set to return but we don't know when. Emma could be the Red Show's best heel outside of Charlotte, but her return from injury is up in the air, even though she is ready to go.
Raw needs someone in the short term who can make for entertaining feuds outside the title picture en route to WrestleMania and that woman is TNA's Laurel Van Ness, who also wrestles under her better-known real name, Chelsea Green.

(The smarkiest will remember Green's turn as Daniel Bryan's kiniesiologist Megan Miller. Source: WWE.com)

Green first appeared on WWE television in 2014 as the kiniesiologist on the take Megan Miller during the Jerry Springer-saturated Brie Bella/Stephanie McMahon feud. Stephanie paid off Miller to claim on camera she had a torrid love affair with her patient, Brie's husband Daniel Bryan.

(Green made a strong showing on Tough Enough, eliminated in week 7. Source: USA Network)

Trained by Lance Storm, 2015 saw her make the final 40 for WWE's revival of Tough Enough. Green did not make the cut, but eventually landed on the show when Dianna Dahlgren quit early in the contest. The only trained pro wrestler on the show, she was cut after Paige used her judge's save to keep GiGi Piscina in the contest in week seven. Piscina and eventual winner Sara Lee were the only women left.

(Red makes green, even in Canadian dollars. Chelsea vs. Nicole Matthews in WPW. Source: Vancitybuzz.com)

In January of 2016 she was signed by TNA, debuting in a loss to Jade. She hit the road in the US, her native Canada and abroad, including two tours of Japan. During her first excursion to the Far East she broke her collarbone in India, but would return to action once again in Canada for WPW as the Girls Gone Wrestling champion. One notable bout featured her fighting through a legit cut on the side of her head against WPW heel Nicole Matthews.

She would return to Japan for another tour, the highlight of which was a solid 15 minute match against Kairi Hojo. She also teamed with Santana Garrett in the Stardom's tag team tournament.

(Suicide dive in perhaps her best match to date against Kairi Hojo. Source: Stardom Wonder Ring)

In August, she emerged prominently on TNA television under the name Laurel Van Ness while continuing to take independent bookings. Her persona became the prototypical rich mean girl and she has drawn solid heat in the Knockouts division. It is surprising to this point she hasn't landed on NXT television, as her peers Daria Beranato and Mandy Rose have. This could make a solid plot point to bring her to Raw on an interim basis to add a hot secondary feud between now and WrestleMania.

(Charisma, constantly improving ring skills and a Keebleresque silhouette stature are a compelling case for getting on WWE programming. Source: Stardom Wonder Ring)

This is the reality era, so I suggest having her debut under her real name, angry that she was snubbed for WWE programming when so many around her debuted on NXT or started training at the Performance Center. Also, her persona on TNA is too close to Charlotte, Chelsea could debut with a run-in, sporting a steel chair and a bad attitude. This could give Alicia Fox something to do other than faun over Cedric Alexander and/or a short program with Sasha Banks, although the latter may be in deep with Nia Jax until WrestleMania. Have her cut a blistering, enraged promo afterward saying she'll let her violent actions show she belongs in WWE. The feud would culminate with a match reminiscent of John Cena's 2002 debut, in which he gave Kurt Angle everything he had in a tough loss. Have her head full speed into a rocking 10-15 bout with Sasha Banks or Bayley, or the returning Emmalina.

Chelsea Green's storytelling and strikes are good and she can chain wrestle at a medium tempo as demonstrated in matches mentioned above as well as with the likes of Gail Kim in TNA. I suggest a change in finisher as her curbstomp to the back of her opponent at times looks gawky.

(Laurel Van Ness is TNA Impact Wrestling's resident mean girl. Source: Threw Minds Eye Photos)

WWE has shown they prefer to train experienced wrestlers before putting them on TV full time and this has worked to perfection with numerous women from Sasha Banks to Bayley, Paige, and current NXT stars like Peyton Royce and Billie Kay. NXT may be the milieu she is needed the most. In Asuka City, only Ember Moon is ready to give Asuka a solid match for the title as others continue to develop. Her charisma and sex appeal along with her constantly improving ring work makes her a good second contender for the NXT Women's Championship.

BOOK IT!

GLITTER & SLAM WOMEN'S MATCH OF THE YEAR: SASHA BANKS (C) vs. CHARLOTTE FLAIR VI
(source: WWE.com)

I publically declared a few weeks ago on twitter that nothing could beat Asuka vs. Mickie James. The last big show of 2016 made me a liar. 30 minutes plus overtime gave us great technical wrestling, stiff violence and more drama than their previous five encounters combined. I did not think that was possible, but they did it and set yet another new standard for the women's division. I could drone on for a few more paragraphs but feast your eyes and ears on this battle that should have headlined Roadblock: End of the Line. The ending was sublime, even if the Boss couldn't retain in the final chapter of title ping pong. The story ended with Sasha Banks screaming in agony, her nose and mouth saturated with blood as she had no choice but to tap out or possibly suffer a career-ending knee injury. Come what may their place in wrestling history is secure. Onward, time will tell if the Road to WrestleMania will be as compelling.

(Nia Jax shortly before making the hobbled Banks fly. Source:WWE.com)

I don't know if WWE deserves credit for the symbolism in Sasha Banks' appearance on Raw, but it was evident. Since the brand split, Raw has used Banks and Charlotte Flair as a crutch while they figure out what to do with everyone else. A shockingly humbled Boss tearfully said to the crowd that she didn't feel like a Boss anymore and that she lost to the better woman. After calling for Charlotte to come down to the ring to congratulate her, out comes Nia Jax, who proceeded to call the former champ a broken little girl and kick the crutch out from under her. The first real secondary women's feud on Raw began as Jax threw her across the ring and tossed the crutch away. There are strong hints of a character driven arc for Sasha en route to WrestleMania and if WWE does not screw it up The Boss may be able to lift up the rest of the division as Charlotte feuds with Bayley.

(A cavalier Bayley states her case for a title match with her third win over Charlotte. Source: WWE.com)

Later in the show Charlotte came out to gloat and out came a confident Bayley who challenged the four-time champion to a non-title match. I know I'm not an insider who has booked pro wrestling for decades or anything, but maybe if you want an underdog to sneak a win over the champ – for the third time no less – she should pay the price for it. Reminding the world that Bayley has the chops in the ring is good, but afterward, instead of Bayley all smiles going up the ramp, Charlotte making her pay with a face plant on steel would have set a more compelling tone for 2017. Bayley is poised to be the top female baby face in the women's division, but booking must show she earned it in a trial by fire.

The next edition of Glitter and Slam will unveil the 2016 WWE Woman of the Year as well as assessments of the company's female talent. So in the meantime, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and the happiest New Year to everyone.

Follow me on Twitter @weskozalla #wrestlementary #glitterandslam.

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